Words are so powerful. Words have the power to build people up and bring them down. They can uplift and enlighten, or depress and destroy. We have complete control over the words we use, so we really must choose them carefully. The first step is awareness. Think before you speak. Focus on communicating positives: strengths, praise, encouragement. Handle negatives carefully. Stopping to consider your intention before you speak is a powerful tool. Why Speak with Good Purpose? One of our 8 Keys of Excellence principles to live by is Speak with Good Purpose. Let’s consider why we should strive to speak with good purpose. Communication is the bridge between people—it’s the glue that holds all relationships together. It’s what forms the links between teachers and students, parents and children, employer and employee, between friends, between siblings, etc. All our relationships thrive or fade depending on the quality of the communication between us and the other person. Speaking with good purpose can be a challenge—it takes courage, effort, and practice. But when you master this skill the quality of your relationships will change and you’ll find the satisfaction of deep, meaningful connections with others that you may not have had before. Words are powerful. A few cutting words let loose without thinking can wound someone for a lifetime. Maybe years ago your best friend said you had a “lame smile” . . . or your teacher discouraged your progress in math with “you’re no good at numbers”—and you still remember those words. Hurtful comments can stay with us a long time. Whoever came up with that rhyme about “sticks and stones” was wrong. Words can hurt.   Whatever you say—whether it’s negative or positive—has an impact. Look for those positive words, words that build up, words that heal. There are times when a few kind words make all the difference. Have you ever had someone tell you You got this! or You can do it! just when you needed to hear it the most? Words really do matter.  

Catch yourself — why was I going to say that? How can you make sure you’re speaking with good purpose? How do you make it happen? How do you direct your speech to build strong bonds and create safe environments?

Begin by building awareness, by actually thinking about your words . . . think before you speak. Ask yourself a few quick questions . . . Am I going to say something useful right now? Will my words be encouraging or damaging? Will my words build up or break down the person I’m speaking to? Will my words improve our relationship or might they damage it? Positive communication is a habit. It’s a matter of training yourself to monitor your thoughts before they become speech. With practice you’ll learn to focus on giving words to positive thoughts, recognizing people’s strengths in words as well as thoughts and offering praise and encouragement.  Don’t stop expressing negative thoughts, just be careful with them We don’t have to avoid expressing negative thoughts, feelings, and experiences, but it’s best to recognize them for what they are and decide whether or not we need to say them. Just stop and think about it for a few seconds. If it’s simply a random unpleasant thought—you don’t like a person’s whiny tone or wish someone wasn’t so pushy—acknowledge the thought and let it go. Choose not to give it the power of spoken words. But if it’s something that needs resolution, you may need to express it. Handle these times carefully. Think about the intention of your words. Are they meant to support the person and build a stronger relationship? Are they focused on finding a solution? Honesty in a relationship requires you to state your true thoughts and feelings, even when they’re not what the other person wants to hear. Honest speech is about revealing the true you, yet it can and should be done without the masks of sarcasm, condescension, or disdain. You simply make sure that you’re speaking kindly as well as honestly.  The power of speaking with good purpose Speaking with good purpose allows us to harness the awesome power of our words. When we speak positively, honestly, and directly, with the goal of keeping relationships strong, words cease to be a random force and begin to show their positive power in our relationships and in our lives.

I think before I speak and choose my words carefully.

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The line, which sits constantly on the horizon of our character, represents responsibility. Living above the line is a powerful life skill, a foundation for communication and personal interaction that highlights and puts into practice the concept of ownership, taking responsibility for our actions.

Living Above the Line is a Choice
Every one of us has a choice. We can choose to live either above the line or below the line. When we choose to live below the line, our lives become driven by circumstances. We are victims! We forgo ownership and send the message to the world that we are not in control of our lives. People who live below the line—choosing responses such as laying blame, justifying, denying, and quitting—are all showing the world that they struggle with personal responsibility.

Blame: Laying blame could quite possibly be the most common and damaging way to live below the line. To a student being called out by their parents for a low mark on a test, this could sound like “The teacher didn’t cover everything that was on the test! It’s not my fault!” While the student may think they’ve given their parents a viable excuse, it doesn’t change the test outcome (and the real reason for it) or promote responsibility, and it certainly doesn’t contribute to positive communication with their parents.

Justify: Another example of living below the line is justifying. Justification happens when we create reasons why we didn’t perform as we should have, reasons that avoid taking responsibility. “Everyone else was talking too!” This below-the-line response tries to provide reasons for failure, believing that the reason or excuse will make everything okay.

Deny: Denying is another below-the-line choice. “I wasn’t talking” doesn’t make the problem go away. This obviously ineffective response can cause others a lot of frustration, and make us seem unreliable or even dishonest.

Quit: Finally, the most disheartening form of below-the-line response is quitting. When we believe so strongly that we’ll fail that we don’t even bother to try, we sabotage our chances for success even before we’ve begun. Although this kind of negative thinking may give us an escape route for our possible failure, we deceive and diminish ourselves when we respond this way.

Living Above the Line is All About Respond-ability
When we live above the line, however, we are choosing responsibility and ownership. We don’t simply let things happen to us and justify, blame, or deny them. We make things happen for us. We have greater control because we stop blaming things outside ourselves for our current situation.

Living above the line means being accountable for our words and actions. It means looking at our options and finding ways to become more honest and sincere—with ourselves and with others. This above-the-line thinking leads to greater freedom as we take responsibility for all our actions—we take responsibility for our life. The choice is always ours.

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The IECA points out that character, as a discreet factor, had largely disappeared from admission decisions over the last 20 years, but it is making a resurgence. Among the reasons for the resurgence is that colleges correlate good character and strong values among the student body with a positive campus environment.

 
The implication for parents of high school and middle school students is twofold. First, exposure to a proven character development program, such as SuperCamp’s 8 Keys of Excellence, benefits every young person, particularly during their formative teen and pre-teen years. Second, intimate knowledge and use of a character development program can be leveraged effectively during the college admissions process, including their college admission essay.

 
Further to this second point, the IECA survey indicates that in answer to the question, What’s the single most important aspect of the application essay?, an overwhelming 93% of IECA members responded with “Providing  insight into student’s personality, values and goals.” The IECA says that the essay is less about perfect grammar and more about helping an admission officer understand who you really are by providing insight into your personality. This helps explain why SuperCamp grads have had success choosing their SuperCamp experience as the topic for their college admission essays.

 
Other top criteria in colleges’ admission decisions include a rigorous curriculum, strong grades, and high standardized test scores. Again, parents can look to SuperCamp for help. The learning skills students acquire at SuperCamp help them in all subject areas. The effective study and test-taking skills they gain enable students to manage a rigorous curriculum and perform better on their standardized tests.

 
Another interesting survey response among IECA members is that 88 percent of respondents say that colleges want to see students challenge themselves with rigorous classes even if their GPA falls a bit. The work SuperCamp does with students in the areas of building their confidence, inspiring their goal setting and instilling self-motivation in them all contributes to a student’s desire and ability to take on a stimulating and more challenging course load.

 
Strong counselor and teacher recommendations climbed in the IECA’s criteria ranking from number 10 to 6, indicating a growing importance of distinctive, personalized references. In addition to the aforementioned benefits that students who attend SuperCamp receive, another value is the communication strategies and techniques they obtain. As a result, SuperCamp grads are better able to build solid relationships with teachers and counselors through their enhanced communication skills, as well as their visible enthusiasm for school and becoming their best self.

 
The IECA is made up of professionals who assist students and families with educational decision making, including helping students choose schools, colleges or programs that meet their individual needs and goals. Over SuperCamp’s 37 years of helping prepare students for academic and personal success, countless families have been referred to SuperCamp by IECA members.

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A true 8 Keys success story is the McPherson School District in Kansas. The school district has embraced Quantum Learning and the 8 Keys of Excellence for more than 10 years.

Former McPherson district superintendent, Randy Watson was and remains a champion of the 8 Keys of Excellence. Mr. Watson saw the role the 8 Keys could play as the character component of the “C3 initiative” he was developing. This initiative, which stands for Citizenship, College, and Career Readiness, brought cohesion to the district, increased the partnerships with local businesses, amplified their RTI efforts, reshaped their approach to discipline, and gained the only broad-based waiver from NCLB (No Child Left Behind) under the then-Secretary of Education, Arnie Duncan.

Mr. Watson’s visionary approach and proven success at improving student achievement led to him being elevated to the role of Kansas state education commissioner in 2014. He had been the district’s superintendent since 1993, and prior to that, was a teacher and principal within the state for many years.

After the 8 Keys were well established in the district, dignitaries from the state of Kansas, from the Kansas Department of Education, and from the US Department of Education visited McPherson to see what was happening. When they were greeted by the principal at one of the middle schools he said,

Through our Quantum Learning Education division, we continue to work with school districts nationwide on integrating the 8 Keys of Excellence in schools’ character development curriculum, so we can create more 8 Keys success stories. As we do so, the 8 Keys will remain at the core of all of our SuperCamp programs in the U.S. and worldwide.

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Be mindful of self and others while focusing on what’s meaningful and important in your life. Inner happiness and fulfillment come when your mind, body, and emotions are nurtured by the choices you make.   

Balance enables you to live your best life. Making choices that nurture your mind, body and emotions brings a feeling of wellbeing . . . you are happy, healthy, and productive. When you’re in balance, you make time for the things that are meaningful and important for you in every area of your life: school, work, hobbies, family, friends, health, and self. You may be busy, but balance helps you make time for it all. Consequently, you are more fulfilled because you are engaged in the things that really matter to you.

Staying in balance is an ongoing process. As we move through our lives each day, we make thousands of adjustments in thought, behavior, and feelings. We adjust to our surroundings, the people we encounter, and our physical requirements. When questions arise about how we spend our time, we make choices depending on what’s important in the moment. We may have to forego time with friends to meet commitments at work, or leave work to care for a sick child. We make adjustments along the way to stay positively aligned with our world.

Balance is a subtle Key. It brings a quiet peace that is not always obvious. However, when we’re out of balance we know it. Stress, exhaustion, illness, anger, depression, or just feeling tired or irritated are all signs of a lack of balance. When these symptoms are noticed, take a moment to reflect on what areas you may be ignoring, then take action. Sometimes restoring balance calls for long-term measures like changing your diet and joining a health club. Other times, simply taking a walk or visiting a friend will do the trick. Whatever it is, once you have achieved balance, you’ll feel better.

To stay in balance, check in with yourself daily. Ask yourself, What do I value? What’s meaningful and important to me? Does this need to be done right now? What is the priority? These simple questions help you focus on the things that are most important to you. When you have extra demands to meet and you feel your stress level rising, take time to prioritize your activities, making sure to leave time for yourself.

Be aware that you may not achieve perfect balance every day. Things come up that require your attention—such as a project deadline, a friend’s need for help, or exams—and while you’re putting extra energy and time into these areas, you may have to ignore other activities, like going to the gym. During these times, be aware of the choice you’re making and commit to getting back in balance once the need for the diversion has passed. There will always be things you have to say no to, but making those choices gets easier if you keep the big picture of your life before you and stay aware of what you need to do to maintain balance.

When life appears too complicated and demanding, refocusing on the Key of Balance brings our attention back to the things we value and keeps us moving forward. When we find the right balance of nurturing our mind, body, and emotions, we are happy, healthy, productive, and fulfilled.

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Day one was sheer culture shock for Lucy, but on day two the “This Is It” Key of Excellence was presented and she was hooked. Lucy returned for the next two years. She claims the SuperCamp experience is “transformational.” Lucy had low self-esteem on entering, but left with greater self-awareness and direction—she wanted to become a team leader. Seven seasons later, Lucy has changed lives, inspired teens, and pushed students to believe in themselves. She’s made lifelong friends, seen incredible transformations, and firmly believes that SuperCamp can have the same powerful impact on anyone.

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An excerpt from Rolling Thunder by Doug Boyd
Appearing in Bobbi DePorter’s The 8 Keys of Excellence: Principles to Live By

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The Key of the Month is Balance—Live your best life. Be mindful of self and others while focusing on what’s meaningful and important in your life. Inner happiness and fulfillment come when your mind, body, and emotions are nurtured by the choices you make.

It’s the classic story about balance—one you may have run across before:

An American tourist traveled to a Mexican fishing village.

One day, the tourist noticed a fisherman unloading several tuna from his skiff. The tourist complimented the fisherman on his glistening catch, asking how long it took him to catch the fish.

“Only a little while,” replied the fisherman. “All I need is a few fish to support my family.”

The tourist looked baffled. “But what do you do with the rest of your time?”

The fisherman shrugged, “I sleep in every day, play with my grandkids, take a siesta, and spend time with my wife. In the evenings, I go out drinking and singing with my friends. I have a full life.”

The tourist scoffed, “I have an MBA from Harvard, and I can help you. You should spend more time catching fish. With the extra money, you can buy a bigger boat.”

“And after that?”

“With the extra money from the bigger boat, you can buy two or three boats and eventually hire more people to operate a fleet of fishing trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can start to negotiate directly with the processing plants.  After a while you would be able to open your own plant. Then you could leave this little village for Mexico City and eventually, New York! From there you could operate the whole enterprise.”

 “And after that?”

“Well my friend, that’s when the fun starts,” explained the tourist, “When the business gets really big, you can sell stock in the company and make millions!”

“Wow, millions. What happens after that?” asked the fisherman.

“Then you can retire to a small Mexican fishing village, where you can sleep in every day, fish a little, play with your grandkids, take a siesta, and spend time with you wife.  In the evenings you can go out drinking and singing with your friends.”

The fisherman just shrugged his shoulders and walked away.

The fisherman is the hero of this story. He throws conventional wisdom about wealth and success to the wind in exchange for a simple, leisurely life with plenty of time to play.

But is that what a balanced life really looks like?

In the 8 Keys of Excellence framework, balance is about identifying your values and making choices that honor those values, your own well-being, and the well-being of others.  It means saying “no” to certain opportunities so you can say “yes” to others.

Balance is also about being flexible. Balance makes room for the natural ebb and flow of life. For example, you may have to skip your workout session one week to finish an important work project. But maybe the next week your work load is lighter and you have time to squeeze in an extra cardio session.

That’s why it’s so hard to nail down exactly what a balanced life looks like. We’re all going to make different choices based on our unique values, and even within our individual lives, priorities are going to vary from day to day and year to year.

Perhaps the takeaway is not that we all need to give up our career ambitions and go live on a beach in Mexico. But rather that we need to clarify our values and honor them in the lives we create.

For some of us, honoring our values will lead us to something akin to the fisherman’s life. But for others, we may find ourselves living the life of the American tourist. Whatever our values are, let’s make Balance one of them.

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The Key of the month is Flexibility: Be willing to do things differently.

Recognize what’s not working and be willing to change what you’re doing to achieve your goal!

You’re working on a science project, and the cotton ball cloud parts simply will not stick to the cardboard. You glue, let it dry, it falls out. You glue, let it dry, it falls out. After a while, it would seem a bit crazy to just keep using the same glue when you’re getting the same results, right? This is where flexibility comes in.

The key of flexibility is about maintaining the ability to change what you’re doing in order to get the outcome you desire. If your current strategy isn’t working, try something different! Keep trying  until you find what works.

In our everyday situations, we need to look at our actions to see whether we are being rigid or flexible. If a set of actions repeatedly fails to help us reach our goal, then it’s time to change our strategy.

It’s not always easy to recognize or admit that we’re doing something that just isn’t working. The first step to being flexible is admitting that something needs to change. Remove your ego from your actions and take an objective look at what you’re doing. See your failure as feedback, use that valuable information to make adjustments, and move on! By exploring numerous potential solutions, you’ll discover avenues for success that you never would have previously considered.

How have you used the key of flexibility? We’d love to hear from you in the comments section. Click “leave a reply” at the top of this page!

Without flexibility, we’re all bound to go a little insane!

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Demonstrate your positive personal values in all you do and say. Be sincere and real. 

Have you ever made a promise and not followed through? What would you do if you caught someone glancing at your test answers? Ever heard of the “boy who cried wolf”? Breaking promises, cheating and lying are all examples of living without integrity. Many people act the way they feel like acting and find some justification for what they did (“But it wasn’t me that was cheating!”). Highly successful people, in contrast, reflect and then act, because they choose to have their actions harmonize with their values.

Integrity activity: trace your hands on two pieces of paper. Draw a big “V” for values on the left hand and a big “A” for actions on the right hand. Write a value on each finger of the left hand and the corresponding action steps required to demonstrate each value on the right hand. Flip them face-to-face to see how they match up. Do your values match your actions?

Ensure that your behavior reflects your values and you’ll move through life with authenticity, sincerity, and wholeness. When you live with integrity, it’ll show! People will trust you almost instinctively, and they’ll think of you as a person of your word. You’ll be known for your strong character. When you live with integrity, you’ll enjoy a clear conscience and feel good about yourself. Those positive feelings from others and within ourselves reinforce our values and build our reputation and self-esteem, which leads us to greater success in all areas of our lives. And who doesn’t want that?!

Align your actions with your values:

• Live what you value.
• If you value honesty, be truthful.
• If you value keeping your word, follow through.
• If you value being fair, do what you expect others to do.
• Your identity is who you are. Your integrity is an expression of who you are.
• Importantly, always do the right thing. 

For your consideration:

• What do you value?
• How do these values show up in your life?
• Do your current actions support your values?
• First define your values. Then, align your actions with your values.

Affirmations for INTEGRITY:

• I have stated beliefs and values.
• I know and understand them.
• My behavior reflects them.

“SuperCamp taught me that integrity isn’t just an SAT word for honesty, but a way of living so that your personal values match up with your behaviors. For this reason, integrity is a little bit different for everyone. In my life, I value friends, family, and my education above all else. SuperCamp helped me to realize that to live in integrity, I had to make my values a priority. For example, I now make a conscious effort to set aside time to spend with friends and family and to continue my education, no matter how busy I may be. I have found that focusing on living my life with integrity helps me to avoid regrets and be the best version of myself!”  

Hannah Heppner attended SuperCamp in the summers of 2009, 2010, and 2011. She was a team leader in the summers of 2012 and 2013 and is currently a student at Southern Illinois University Edwardsville.

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